Now for some comic relief,

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT	You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
REPUBLICAN	You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
SOCIALIST	You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST	You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE	You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE	You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION	You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION	You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION	You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION	You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION	You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION	You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION	You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION	You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION	You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION	You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION	You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION	You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegal. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Sooo, Close Barack, you almost had me.

I really almost flipped, really.  I watched that second debate and McCain looked like the old travelling saleman trying to unload some steak knives.  Between the "My Friends" and the "That Ones" and the "I can solve our problems" , he lost me.  

There I was hopeless, defenseless, waiting for someone to shine a light and show me the way. But all I heard from you was, "We've had too much deregulation"  As if THAT was our problem.

I did my research.  The people in charge of Fannie and Freddie were former Dems.  The people who said there was no problem, was Barney and Nancy.  There was no deregulation of the mortgage industry.  What there was... democrats watching the cookie jar.

I thought you were for a change.  Guess not a change from the Democratic party.

And now this week, you tell that plumber that owns his own business, "I think spreading the wealth around is a good thing." Thats it, you lost me. 

Republicans call you a used-car salesman or snake-oil salesman.  You're much better than that.  I can see those types a mile away.  You almost sold me. And you've sold many intelligent people. But thankfully you expressed your true views on the economy and showed me you have no clue.

Barack, I'd now have more respect for you if you were at least honest.  C'mon, admit it. You are a socialist.

You may not kill this country when you win.  And you WILL win, because you're a damned good salesman.  But you won't help it.  And we won't quickly recover.

You know WHY the market tanked again today.  This nice juicy slip of the toungue on your part hit the news this morning, and the Market lost faith in YOU.  But you'll still win.  Because most Americans just dont understand what's going on.  They see a weak horrible President.  The see a weak, lack luster Republican rival running against you, and they see you.  The shiny new sports car, the knight in shining armor, ready to take us to the promised land.  Yet you offer social programs and a regulated market.

God help us all.

Great Story I Stumbled today

I was Stumbling today and ran onto this blog. Its a great story about life in America today and those who think in Black and White and not on their own.

http://90percenttrue.com/2005/08/i-am-a-terrorist/

First Post (aka My Mainfesto)

First let me just say I like the URL I came up with, "lostinthecenter" because it really expresses the way i feel here in 2008 near the end of a Presidential race thats barely given me motivation to get out of bed come November 4th. Who speaks for me? Not really either party it seems.

But let me digress a moment and add, that in writing this post I have done more than 6 other people whose already owned the first 6 URLs that I wanted. Several look like they would have been somewhat political in nature as well. But they couldn't even make a first post on their blog? How does one get motivated to create a political blog and NOT make a first post? I understand getting motivated to create a blog, make a post and then the desire to keep it up fades away. I mean, hell, thats the story of my life in 1 sentence.

Anyway, back to why I'm here. Its not for money, fame or notoriety, in fact I plan on keeping myself anonymous. I really don't care what others think of me, but I also don't need any hate mail or calls in the middle of the night because the lunatic fringe Stumbled on my blog and think I should burn in Hell (or fry in the middle of the desert for the atheists out there).

"But you have ads on your page!?!..." So if I get 10 consistent people to read and reply perhaps I'll make an easy nickel here or there. Thats the American way, right?

Its really because I have been non-political for so long my brain seems to be over flowing with the desire to release its political tension. So consider this a place mental regurgitation. It won't always be political, and I won't usually be coming with heavily researched facts. But I do think it will always be a view of a man who is a free thinker and realizes that people on ANY wing don't have it right.

When I was younger I was the secretary of my Young Republican club in high school, and thats about the peak of my political involvement until now. Throughout college I absorbed all I could in classes to learn about the world, and while I did take freshmen sociology, I didn't graduate a tree hugging hippie. In fact I would say the most influential class that I took that shaped my world view was Macro Economics. I'll get into the Economy at a later time, but basically it the reason I will never vote for any candidate who will increase social spending or taxes.

In short my beliefs go like this, "Eco" is a greek prefix which means "House". The Eco-system is Nature's House, if you will, and many will say the house is out of order because Man has polluted it and driven species to extinction. The same concept holds true when you talk about Money. When people (especially governments) tinker with the nature of the economy, it gets out of whack. Socialists love nothing more than to tinker with the economy and the more they do, the more they make it difficult for normal people to break the chains of their fore-fathers and become wealthy. So I will never vote for Socialist thinkers.

"So... you won't be voting for Obama I take it?" You are probably correct. But McCain has in no way inspired me to go to the polls and vote for him. He puts me to sleep.

"But what about Sarah Palin, isn't she great?" Um, she seems to be rather intelligent and driven. She's a firecracker, to use a nice misogynistic term. She's definitely looks good on stage, and I mean that in terms of how she can be "perceived" as a strong leader. For example, Mitt Romney and Al Gore "looked" like what the common man would expect a President to look like. But she doesn't really lead me to believe she can walk into the United Nations and sway foreign leader to support the American causes we will need her to. If Johnny Mac wins, I hope she proves me wrong.

"So if you don't like McCain and you don't like Obama, who are you going to vote for?" Possibly libertarian. Not because they have a viable candidate. In fact I'm not even sure they are on the ballot in my state. And while I have to laugh at the fact that Bob Barr is the best candidate they have had in, well, probably their entire history. I think its time people like me start making their voice heard. Especially in states where your particular vote wont matter. I for example live in a Red State. And If I in no way wanted Obama to be my president, then I know it wont happen because my state votes him in. If you are in a similar situation, then I encourage you to do the same.

So here's what I want:

1) I want the Democrats to get closer to the middle, economically speaking anyway. Stop enabling the welfare junkies. They are not helpless, people emerge from the gutter every day and if most of them paid attention in school and were responsible citizens they would not be in the gutter still.

2) I want the Republicans to stop pandering to the Religious Right. I believe in God and am a Christian, but I don't believe that the world was actually created in 7 days and that Noah's Ark will ever be found. I don't believe that man walked with the dinosaurs 4000 years ago. And if my kids watch Harry Potter they won't become minions of Satan. God gave us a brain folks, let us em. I love Science. I think it is a highly valuable tool used to understand the Universe God created and what makes it work. Evolution explains how He made us from the earth in his own image. But I still respect those who don't believe that there is a God, and we can sit down and talk about the Big Bang Theory together because as two educated adults we both understand and respect Science.

3) Abortion is NOT a matter of National Security. Both of you (parties) SHUT UP, and leave it OFF your political platforms. Let's talk about people who are dying in Africa, lets talk about Al-Qaeda's threat to Western Culture. There... thats my view on the matter, and its the last time I'll touch it.

4) We have a right in this country to Freedom. We do NOT have a right to safety. We live in a free society among like minded people and we should have a right to express our selves in any way we want. And we should have a right to do anything we want. We should NOT be limited in either capacity because the Government has decided they need to ensure our safety. The more they do that, the faster George Orwell will be spinning in his grave. Our great grandparents didn't come here because it was safe, they came here because of the opportunity. A governmental tightening Security does not equal Opportunity.

5) I want BOTH Parties to fight for environmentalism and responsible energy usage. I think T.Boone Pickens is saying it best these days. Please go to his web site.

6) I want the Republicans to return to supporting State's rights and fiscal responsibility. I'm happy to see them not support the Bailout. But I'm disappointed to see how 8 years of Bush's presidency meant astronomical spending. "No Child Left Behind" is an example of a farce of a program and a policy NO Republican should be proud of. It wreaks of socialism. Every parent has a choice where to send their child to school. You either choose to live in a bad local school district or you choose not to. You choose to live in the 49th worst state for public education or you choose not to. Even the poorest in this country are able to move. You think the homeless guy on the corner of 21st and Main was born there? Why are there so many poor people in Florida? Because if I were going to be poor and miserable, I'd at least do it some place sunny.

7) I want the extremely Liberal Hollywood crowd to SHUT UP! Matt Damon... why don't you worry more about improving your acting skills than mouthing your political views on ABC. I mean, geez, I've seen statutes less stiff than you. If Matt, George Clooney and the rest really were smart people then they'd realize they really just piss off 50% of the people who could be spending money on their next movie. I mean I understand you are all artistic bleeding heart types, but you need to realize you don't speak for all of America.

So... There's more. But I think I've released the tension enough today and need to get back to work. Please let me know how you feel and I encourage intelligent discussion. I wont be replying to "You suck" or "Find a hole and Die" comments. But even the most extreme views are welcome and if you can bring some interesting views and facts I'm up for a chat.